Cautionary Tales

Many of the comments I have made about restaurants have been on the positive side.  I have mentioned places I liked.  I don't like every place where I go.  There are a lot of bad places to eat.  Pick a vender at the Columbus International Airport and it is not going to be good.  Any food court in a mall will serve a plethora of food outlets that will fill ya, and won't kill ya.  So it is time to discuss some less than wonderful places.

I will start with Baja Fresh Mexican Grill (Multiple Locations).  I have been exposed to great Mexican food and it tends to he simple, fresh and cooked on site.  There is a lot of variation in true Mexican food.  There will be slight variations in the same meal served at different restaurants.  Jim and Linda Magglos founded the Baja Fresh Mexican Grill, and I hear they knew Mexican food and freshness.  I have heard from people that ate there when the original owners were involved that this was a great place to find good Tex Mex fare.  Then Wendy's bought it and sucked the soul out of it and replaced the soul with corporate consistency.  Their food evokes a sense of what you would get if someone tried to make a Mexican meal by looking at pictures of Mexican food.  It is not horrible but it is derivative, sterile, and without any imagination.

Next is a place called Stars Grill on Bethel Road,  (2584 Bethel Road).  It is fairly new, austere but open and airy.  It has lighting fixtures shaped like stars.  It also has very dark concrete floors.  When you have plain, hard floors in a restaurant you need to keep the floor sweeping in high gear because every crumb and flake is going to show.  It did.  Likewise, with the tabletops as constant cleaning needs to be done.  It wasn't.  Now, they are probably as clean as your average Appleby or Fridays.  But, Appleby or Fridays are designed to hide the crumbs in carpet and softer finishes.  Take a lesson Stars Grill.

The service was immediate and personable.  The menu is varied and has some interesting entrees.  For appetizers they have Sauerkraut Balls or maybe Brussels Sprouts and Bacon.  You don't see those on the menu often.  They have Pumpkin Soup.  Their specialty was something called the STARbursters.  I am going to describe them exactly as they did, "The ingredients are stuffed inside the burger patty.  We cannot subtract any of the ingredients."  I asked if they could add an ingredient and they said no, that was not possible either.

That makes me think these STARbursters are not prepared as much as built in some smoking factory named something like "Rosy Dawn Farms" a wholly owned subsidiary of Amalgamated Nutrition Corp.  We have been ramming food and food related products down the gullet of livestock and people for 80 years. 

So I ordered the pumpkin soup and the August Salad My wife got the Mango Pulled Pork Sandwich with pepper slaw and fries.  We also ordered a "To Go" veggie wrap for my daughter.

The best thing we had was the August Salad.  It had fresh greens thinly sliced chilled apples, grapes and toasted spiced pumpkin seeds.  I asked for creamy vinaigrette dressing and that was a nice compliment.  It was big enough to be a main dish but not stupid big.

I'm conflicted on the pumpkin soup.  I have had it one other time at Carla's and both Carla's and Stars was good.  But Stars Grill pumpkin soup was sweet and lighter than Carla's.  Carla's was decidedly more savory and I think a bit more textured.  I am certain the Carla's soup had a basic chicken stock base and I don't think the Stars pumpkin soup did.  So it really depends on do you like sweet or savory.

The pulled pork was bland and also sweet.  I am dead certain the pulled pork required a can or microwavable bag to be opened.  Again, it was not bad but "Not bad" is not something that motivates me go get up, put on pants maybe even wear a clean shirt and pay money for a meal.  I can get "Not bad" at home more quickly and cheaper. 

If you have been reading me you know that I have rigid expectations about pork barbeque.  I am glad they did not call it barbeque as I would have to give them a citation as I am authorized by the Smithfield Virginia branch of the "North Carolina Society of Vinegar Based Barbecue Sauces" to cite food stores that pass off that Kansas City centered sweet sauce, better used on candied apples and for your grandmother than to be placed on savory pork, cooked low and slow for hours over fine dried hardwoods and served chopped and hot.  I almost felt compelled to pull out my badge and my citation book but my wife mentioned that the word "Barbecue" was not used once.  They get a pass...this time.

But it was the veggie wrap we got as carry out that pushed me over the line.  They described it as, "White bean spread, avocado, (sic) spicy pepper slaw."   Here is what it was.  A whole-wheat flour tortilla with a thin smear of bean paste, a smear of avocado and what they called pepper slaw.  That slaw was 95% cold, raw, thin sliced cabbage without any dressing and with a few strings of grilled Jalapeno, carrot and absolutely nothing else.  It was not edible unless you like to take a head of cabbage and start eating it like an apple.  I have every reason to think that entree was made on site.

I cannot say I recommend it but the place is new and there may be a learning curve.  I won't say DO NOT GO TO STARS GRILL.  But...

Emergency, Alert!  Emergency, Alert!  Emergency, Alert!  Emergency, Alert!
The Halloween Horror

I am going to start with the declaration that I like White Castles. Having said that, I have just come from a White Castle about a half hour ago where I sampled their NEW Pizza Slider. There are not words that can describe the revulsion, the black horror of this atrocity. My tongue crawled down my throat to avoid the offal filled steamed bun. There is no legal or moral way to make pepperoni and cheese taste or feel like this ghastly fare. I have not touched tongue to anything as putrescent since first sampling the Mac Rib sandwich. Both experiences will fill my nightmares. It is an abomination and could serve to destroy their esteemed brand!