Profane Piety
By Rick Brown

May 24.

Jesus Had a Penis

In his thirty-three years, as God and man, Jesus had a head, shoulders, stomach, penis, legs and feet.

What's so shocking about this? Nothing really. The only shocking thing is the reaction of certain people to it.

First, some people consider "penis" a dirty word; the body is evil; in polite "Christian" society one is not supposed to acknowledge physical realities, only spiritual ones. "Christianity," some people say, does not consider the body or mind of man, but only his soul. In fact, taking this point of view, "Christianity" is not concerned with society, politics, economics, the arts or sociology; it is about "religion."

Secondly, some people consider Jesus to be God but not man. Well yes, maybe Man, but not man. He could never have had a penis (although the Latin American church observes a day of the holy foreskin). Okay, maybe he did have a penis, but don't TALK about it.

Don't talk about Jesus as real. Keep him up there in the sky where he's uninvolved in real, raw life. The "Christians" who don't want to talk about Jesus' penis, strangely, seem to live in restricted neighborhoods where Jews and Negroes can't rent or buy homes. My God, what IS profane?

From "Malcolm Boyd's Book of Days"

I received a copy of Malcolm Boyd's Book of Days as a gift for Christmas way back when I was in college. I can't remember who gave it to me…but whoever it was had a lot more sophistication than anybody else I was hanging around with at the time. This particular entry really struck me then…and still does. Sure it's a little dated (Negroes?) but the truly profane certainly isn't.

Jesus had a penis. St. Paul had a penis. The disciples all had penises. The Pope has a penis. Buddha had a penis. Moses had a penis. Muhammad had a penis. Confucius had a penis. Mary had a vagina. (QUICK!!! Name me three religions started by women!) Despite this reality religions…for the most part…have been in denial when it comes to dealing with sexuality for centuries. Dealing with people's sexuality in any real way is a very…very…low priority. It's way too easy to hide behind "tradition" or "virginity" or "monogamy" and especially "heterosexuality".

Malcolm Boyd is gay. He's a gay Episcopal priest. Of course when I was young I assumed he was heterosexual. And if people can admit Jesus had a penis…which he did…I'll bet nearly 100% of all folks willing to entertain that thought assume Jesus was a heterosexual. A virgin heterosexual. Yet he was a man right? So did Jesus ever have a wet dream? An erection? If you're a man who had a healthy puberty…or a woman who has lived with and/or raised a boy/man…well then…you KNOW the answer to those questions.

Christians believe Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus. Catholics insist Mary was ALWAYS a virgin…which I suppose didn't make Joseph want to stick around long. Yet many historians will tell you that Jesus had brothers and possibly sisters…and he was more than likely the third or fourth child. Somebody was…dare I write this?…having sex.

Sex education continues to be an elusive subject particularly here in America. We've got a president (as well as conservatives in general) who claims "abstinence" as the only true form of contraceptive. "Abstinence" is merely a code word for "not talking about real birth control and sex education." Just as parents have traditionally clamored about sex education being something that should be taught at home or at church the…well…words can change but the reality still is that sex isn't being taught anywhere. And what little that IS being taught is many times learned from some one who…theoretically…has never had…nor ever will…have sex. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want some one fixing my car whom has never driven one. It's not about sex education at all. It's about fear and ignorance pressing the motivation for AVOIDING sex and a healthy sexuality.

I've read accounts that state as many as 25% of all priests are gay. This by no means indicates they are pedophiles. Most pedophiles are heterosexual men some of whom molest their own daughters. I know. I had a friend years ago whose father sexually abused both her and her older sister. I knew a woman when I was in college who…as a high school girl…had a yearlong affair with her vicar (seminary intern). She couldn't forget it either because he was back at seminary…which was right across the street from our college. Except now he didn't recall knowing her. He was engaged and would soon be out in the world being a shepherd for his flock. And churches cover all this high jinks up...on a regular basis. The church obviously believes it's above the law. When a child molester moves into a new neighborhood the word goes out. He (she) has a lifelong label. The church merely finds their perverts new prey.

I know of no good reason to be celibate. Priests have only done so since the Middle Ages. Paul encourages people to be celibate in the New Testament. But I'll bet before his big conversion it was a different story. If he willingly killed Christians then it stands to reason he'd willingly have sex with them. And perhaps they weren't as willing as he was. And get over this homosexuality is an "abomination" crap. If you take the Bible so literally why not stone your kids when they misbehave (Deuteronomy) or spend the evening with a concubine (Song of Solomon) or have sex with a sister and/or daughter. It's all in there.

If religion is to make our lives more positive then religions need to get with the program. If you must insist on virginity and monogamy have the decency to at least TEACH people about sex…in a positive, God giving, life affirming way. And not just heterosexual sexuality either. Religion needs to accept the fact that "They're here. They're Queer." and get used to it. Marry gay couples…in the church, synagogue, temple…whatever. These people WANT to be involved in your religions. And they're money is as good as anybody's. So is their morality. People of all sexual orientations ARE going to mainstream. They ARE going to be open in society. The sooner religion accepts this the better the chance for their own survival. Allow gay clergy. In fact…WELCOME gay clergy…lesbian nuns. Let people be who they really are. The Lutheran Church will ordain a gay person with the stipulation they never have homosexual sex. This is absurd. I don't believe anyone is going back to the 12th century…at least not willingly.

And for God's sake if celibacy is "next to Godliness" then have the guts to teach masturbation to boys AND girls. It's a fun way to learn about one's body and self. It's not hurting anyone. It's not immoral. That way our religious leaders COULD possibly be celibate and not go around like a pressure cooker ready to explode. Don't go around espousing that sex is a wonderful gift from God and refuse to be instructive. No one has to promote promiscuity. Perhaps if informed, educated sexual activity abounded there would be less of the illusive "chase" going on.

Sexuality…of any orientation…is never an abomination. Molesting kids and lying about it is. Sleeping with a high school girl while you are her vicar is. Religion's perpetuation of the chauvinistic "boy's club" is. Yes…Jesus had a penis. Mary had a vagina. And I think that's a good thing to ponder. If this all sounds radical to you then so be it. Anyone who actually believes that Jesus was a "conservative" is not only fooling him/herself…but surely doesn't know much about Jesus at all.